i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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