how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
