Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize