yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
