Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
