at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
