at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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