Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
one might say we're banned from that church
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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