he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
