And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
