That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
