so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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