Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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