He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
