Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Randomize
