I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize