You're my little dorito
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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