is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
