I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
