Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
