I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
