bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It's never too late to be topless.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
