As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
