my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm too high and old for this...
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
