Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
