I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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