Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
