There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
