that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
