My entire life is one complicated drinking game
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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