I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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