i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
nutella sex= disaster
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
