she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
BRING THE BAGELS
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
