Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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