You can't special order awesome
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
