You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
