so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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