My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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