You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
you had me at cake vodka
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize