If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
