My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
