is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
