I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
