I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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