What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
