Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
