i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
