Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
