Already got asked if we're dating
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
