I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize