I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
