capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
