just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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