3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
