You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
she told me i tasted like america
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
