well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Everclear isn't food dammit
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
